click to visit larger image Epic of Sally Robertson, page 40 From the Fenworks |
Originally, I was going to have Sally say something like, “Yes, but it’s satisfying and it makes them stop.” followed by, “It’s worked before.” But, I hadn’t established that she was the kind of person to try revenge before, and I wasn’t terribly comfortable pushing that side of her character further forward. However, there is a certain amount of truth to these statements of hers. On the playground, retaliation does actually work sometimes. Sometimes. Not all bullies are the same, and not all of their targets are chosen for the same reasons. And not to present this as even a remotely acceptable way of preventing or stopping bullying, but if a target proves to be too much trouble to bully, sometimes the bullying will stop. Sometimes, the bullying is simply being done because the target is seen as “uncool”, and if the target that does something to prove that they are cool, the bullying will stop. I’m speaking with some authority here, because this is how I stopped some of the bullying in my own childhood. But only some of it.
This is why the stereotypically male advice for dealing with bullies has been to fight back.
However, as we’re about to learn, verbal or social bullying (as opposed to physical bullying), is a little trickier. I’m no expert on this, but I am reading up on it, I’m happy to be corrected, and the internal logic seems clear to me so far. Sandra is picking on Sally because she doesn’t fit in, not because she’s weak. Novel modes of retaliation and threats are just going to make Sally fit in less, proving Sandra’s point.
Sally is going to have to do a lot more work to turn Sandra around, if that’s ever her goal. And, there is a terribly good chance that she’s going to do it wrong, and the whole situation will blow way out of control. And if Sally does have Carl eat Sandra’s shoes, that makes her no better than Sandra herself.
But, according to some experts, Marshall is right. Sally is inadvertently doing the right thing. For now.
In any case, bullying is a difficult problem in our society. It seems like a strong part of human nature, a part of our default social dynamics. Even victims of bullies have found themselves bullying others (as I have, myself). None of my characters in this story are perfect. There are no heroes here who’ve got it all worked out. Now, in recent years, there have been a rise of organizations dedicated to addressing the problem of bullying. I am not yet in a place to assess them, but it’s exciting to me that our society is finally taking the issue seriously. If any of you have any experience with these organizations and the effectiveness of their programs, I’d really love to hear about it.
The U.S. Government’s page about bullying:
http://www.stopbullying.gov/
Pacer’s anit-bullying campaign:
http://www.pacer.org/bullying/
And Pacer’s Teens Against Bullying:
http://www.pacerteensagainstbullying.org/#/home
Stop Bullying Now:
http://www.stopbullyingnow.com/index.htm
Stomp Out Bullying:
http://www.stompoutbullying.org/
The Bully Project:
http://www.thebullyproject.com/
The National Crime Prevention Council:
http://www.ncpc.org/topics/bullying
And for us adults, the Healthy Workplace Bill:
http://www.healthyworkplacebill.org/
There are more. I’ve just listed the best of what I found on the first two pages of a Google search.
Anyway, bullying has been a huge theme in my comics and will continue to be so because, like so many people, I have directly and indirectly been a victim of bullying since kindergarten. And by indirectly, I mean that someone I love and depend on has been forced to leave an otherwise lucrative and rewarding job because of bullying from a supervisor, effectively ending a promising career. I don’t dream that I have any of the answers. Just a data set of experiences to share, and the presence to commiserate with fellow victims of bullying. But, if I’m going to write about it in my life’s work, it probably behooves me to do some further research. Consider this post the start to that. And if you have anything to share yourself, resources you know of, good stories, or warnings, please do not hesitate to comment.
Thank you.
Epic of Sally: How to Handle a Bully originally appeared on Drawing Contraption on 2013/07/11.